La conocí en Tokyo durante el invierno de 2007. Mi primer viaje a Japón. Recuerdo lo eufórico que estaba de haber llegado hasta allí. Fueron 2 semanas muy intensas, haciendo muchas cosas, viendo a amigos, etc.
Está claro que las cosas cambian de ángulo y perspectiva para uno con el tiempo y la experiencia y que ahora tengo una visión muy distinta de Japón, los japoneses y de mis affaires con las señoritas de ese país y de Asia en general.
La historia comenzó cuando ella estaba prometida con su novio. Y se alargó en la distancia de una manera absurda. Necesitaba muy poco de ella para mantener la llama de ese amor viva. Ni siquiera sexo: sólo chatear con ella en Skype y leer esos "te quiero" y demás me hacían sentir algo diferente a todo lo que había vivido hasta entonces (y no es que en Taipei estuviera teniendo, ni tengo actualmente, una vida monacal... ni mucho menos). En fin, que uno se lía y estas historias nunca terminan bien para "el segundo".
La volví a ver hace unos meses en Kyoto (después de 4 años... la última vez fue una semana antes de su boda... encerrados en un hotel durante días) y fue bastante emocionante para ambos. Nos volvimos a jurar amor eterno, etc, etc. Ni siquiera tuvimos tiempo de follar (el hueco de 2 horas en su agenda conllevaba contar un montón de mentiras a su marido, suegra, etc. y nos dio para una cena y una ligera borrachera, besos por los túneles del metro como antaño y demás).
Desde aquello, en primavera de 2012, empezamos a planear vernos más a menudo. Yo estaba ganando bastante dinero trabajando día y noche y me podía permitir volar a Kyoto siempre que tuviera tiempo. Parecía que íbamos a retomar algo muy importante y necesario para ambos. Vital, diría yo. Entonces fue cuando me dijo que se había quedado embarazada por tercera vez... y que yo tenía la culpa:
-Me pusiste tan excitada la última vez que te vi que tuve que hacer el amor con mi marido esa noche al volver a casa. Ya no estaba interesada en el sexo, pero tú me provocaste esa reacción. Y como no nos dio tiempo de... pues...
En fin. Suena muy cómico. Por supuesto, la mandé a la mierda y después de hacerle un repaso de todas mis aventuras sexuales de los últimos meses (inventándome otras tantas para exagerarlo más) se pasó un par de meses sin escribirme por internet... hasta hoy.
[24/02/13 22:03:36] nama: Hi (F)
[24/02/13 22:04:25] Am79: Hi
[24/02/13 22:05:38] nama: How are you?
[24/02/13 22:05:57] Am79: Good. Whats new?
[24/02/13 22:06:46] nama: Nothing :)
[24/02/13 22:09:18] nama: How is your work?daily life?no trouble?
[24/02/13 22:11:09] Am79: No
[24/02/13 22:11:17] nama: I was wondering if I should not talk to you all the time (:|
[24/02/13 22:12:00] nama: I think you hate me now |-)
[24/02/13 22:12:36] Am79: Hmmm
[24/02/13 22:12:44] nama: It's ok
[24/02/13 22:13:07] nama: But I want to talk to you sometimes
[24/02/13 22:13:21] nama: If you do not mind.....
[24/02/13 22:13:41] Am79: Chat friends is an awkward thing
[24/02/13 22:13:52] Am79: Specially with women
[24/02/13 22:14:39] nama: I see
[24/02/13 22:15:20] Am79: I like dating women
[24/02/13 22:15:28] nama: I see
[24/02/13 22:15:56] nama: You never need me,right?
[24/02/13 22:16:31] Am79: No, sorry :)
[24/02/13 22:16:36] nama: I see
[24/02/13 22:17:38] nama: I just wanted to know that
[24/02/13 22:18:02] nama: It's enough
[24/02/13 22:19:14] Am79: Ok. So this is the end of the chat. Byebye (wave)
[24/02/13 22:19:34] nama: Bye
Me acaba de borrar de Skype y de Facebook. Es algo un poco triste, pero también liberador. No es agradable sentir que se están riendo de uno durante tantos años. Aunque no fuera su intención, este juego la convierte en un ser totalmente malévolo para mi salud mental (y para todo aquel que sepa lo que es meterse en un rollo de estos con una casada).
No importa cuánto critique a su marido, a su suegra, a su estilo de vida... ella nunca va a renunciar a eso por ti. Por eso, aunque tú digas (como yo decía) que no te importa, que la quieres igual... en realidad estás esperando un acto de caridad, una oportunidad de estar con ella y ser tú "el primero". Así que lo mejor es no consentir que estas cosas se enquisten en tu corazón. También, cuando uno se va haciendo mayor y ya no le sobra la energía, mejor reservar la mente y el cuerpo para las cosas verdaderamente importantes... sin lastres inútiles, como relaciones de este tipo.
Adiós, N. Que te vaya fenómeno :)
domingo, 24 de febrero de 2013
lunes, 18 de febrero de 2013
這個禮拜我會表演
前2年在台灣我只有做DJ的工作（和教武術）。後來我變累了：薪水不好，尊重不多 （我有12＋的工作經驗），gigs不穩定，什麼的。。我就決定我要找另外的工作。這邊的夜店一定很無聊，音樂很爛和也有好多假的外國／台灣DJ's. 在亞洲我只想要在日本表演而已（但中國大陸很大。有可能一天我要去試試看。。）。反正台灣的生活，‘起居’，我還覺得是亞洲上最好的。我不一定想住日本，不過對音樂，文化，藝術的方面真棒。
但這個禮拜我會表演。有些朋友問我可不可以幫他們一下。我已經開始準備音樂。平常那一天我應該在別的地方上班，但有可那能會是一個好玩的夜晚。加油！
喔！新年快樂！
但這個禮拜我會表演。有些朋友問我可不可以幫他們一下。我已經開始準備音樂。平常那一天我應該在別的地方上班，但有可那能會是一個好玩的夜晚。加油！
喔！新年快樂！
viernes, 8 de febrero de 2013
How to survive in Asia (except Japan)
I remember my first trip to Asia. It was a 10 day travel to Thailand with my boxing coach in order to have training in different locations (mainly around Bangkok and Koh Samui).
I was totally fascinated by that country: beautiful girls, cheap and great food, hard training... and records! At that time i was a hardcore vinyl digger (i was DJing only with vinyl in my country and i was selling lots of rare funk/jazz/soul records in eBay). I visited the chinatown area in Bangkok and i found a lot of good local stuff and some original thai pressings from afroamerican bands (with cover).
After that experience, I thought about the possibility of going back to Thailand, renting a cheap apartment, trying to make it at some clubs and so on. At that time (end of 2006) i thought that being a western DJ with around 8 years of experience could be good enough to get some residences here and there.
While planning all that in my hometown, i met a taiwanese girl... and well.... my plans changed. She invited me to go to see her in Taipei during summer 2007. And i found that Taiwan was quite attractive to me for the following reasons:
-I was interested in the language (specially writing)
-Life was quite convenient, safe and people seemed nice
-Lots of hot girls everywhere
and the most important:
-The place has a lot of japanese influence
Let's be honest: my first years in Taiwan where a mere training in order to be ready for Japan. That was my real dream. I liked Thailand, i was enjoying Taiwan... but Japan was the place to be, for many reasons: pop culture, language, food, girls and martial arts. That was my childhood dream, since my mom was working there for 2 years before i was born. I was always fascinated about Japan, and all my movements and efforts were focused on that goal.
To make it short: Taiwan was the closest substitute for all those not good (or rich) enough to make it in Japan...
To make it short: Taiwan was the closest substitute for all those not good (or rich) enough to make it in Japan...
Then the reality: i made my first trip to Tokyo around winter of 2008. I had some friends from Barcelona going there too, so the main thing (apartment) was resolved. Then i dedicated 2 weeks to explore the city, sightseeing and training aikido. I fallen in love with a local girl too, so i was dating her during my stay in Tokyo (the story continued for a few more years and we used to keep in touch through skype, even after she got married and with 3 kids).
I found Tokyo a really tough place to live in. Expensive, and not many opportunities for a job (i was already struggling in Taiwan, since virtual DJ's with laptops and Serato were dominating the market, while an old school DJ with all his equipment and vinyl records back home couldn't get much respect anymore). Anyway, it was not enough to have job there: it should be a good one. Recently, i was listening to a podcast from a funny guy. He really has a point about that reality (the sound quality is crap, but after a while, you get used to it, and it's really worth a listen) :
part1
part2
What this guy says is common sense. But some foreigners want to try it so hard that they think they can do anything just for surviving in Tokyo. I met some foreigners in Tokyo and Osaka struggling or having a shit life with long hours of work just because they want to experience Japan and it's cool.
I think we are too influenced by the japanese propaganda and j-pop culture in the west (manga, anime, movies, books, music, etc) and we don't realize how horrible can be to just survive in a big city like Tokyo. Many people in the west really think that the only worthy place to live in Asia is Japan. And well, of course we got China on the map, but people tend to see it in this simple way: Japan=good and expensive, China=bad and cheap. I would agree most of the time, but i believe that Japan has many bad things too (and nobody is gonna tell you till you go there and stay long enough to see it by yourself) and China (although i didn't go or stay long enough there) has its advantages. I am sure that you can find something you like in an enormous country like China: Beijing, Shanghai, Chengdu (Sichuan) and many other cities. I think there is a lot to explore in there.
Anyway, i was still not ready for even trying to find a job in Japan on my first trip. It was much later, during the mid 2012, that i made a serious effort about it: through a friend's friend, i found the way to stay in Osaka for 1 month without paying the rent. And i saved enough money to be able to move freely around the country, trying to make some serious connections. Of course, my goal was to find a job as a DJ (i am not a lawyer, doctor or chef, so that's it). And yeah, i found some gigs. First, my friend's friend (a rich guy playing to be a business man during his free time) helped me to play in a fancy bar in Osaka. I was so excited when i got booked that i didn't dare to ask about the payment. A few days later, i asked my common friend about it, and his face looked a little bit surprised, then he said: Come on, man! They will give you free drinks! It`s gonna be fun! What else you expect?
Then i saw it clearly: the foreign white boy visiting Japan wanted to play some tunes in the CD players and those guys were super nice to me, letting me do so for 30 minutes. I tried to let my friend know that this is a serious job and it should be paid, but after seeing that his face expression was turning a bit bitter, i just said thanks and i accepted the gig in order to be polite. That night i played the first tunes i had in my laptop and i tried to leave that place asap. I even tried to make connections with a korean DJ, who totally ignored me cause he was too busy making his debut and licking the party host ass. I was starting to hate Japan.
Then, the "good gigs" were with real DJ's, playing the real stuff. I remember that i met them through a friend from my country who went to play there some years ago. Then i remembered what he told me at that time: I was very disappointed about Japan. They paid my plane ticket and so on, but not the gig... and the club was empty. They just returned me the favour because i invited that japanese band (with 8 or 10 members) to Barcelona before. And of course, they got paid and i covered all the expenses.
Then it was exactly the same for me: they didn't pay me anything. But initially, i was not invited to play with them and it was more like a friend's party. No complaints. I enjoyed it. But i was not going anywhere in terms of building a career or making a minimum amount of money. Then i realized that Japan was not the place for me to live. I can't live in a place if i can't make money. So since then i decided that i would be glad to visit Japan at least once a year, but i would never try to find my place in there. That feeling was bigger in Tokyo, during a short visit and having a meeting with some of the local artists. Everything seemed too tough. Just a bunch of people being formally polite to an intrusive tourist and wishing that he will leave their country as soon as possible.
I also remember how hard was to get respect from the scene: initially, i was introduced to the local DJ's there. And they were JUST polite to me. Not many smiles or welcoming (not to mention that i was the only white guy in the party, it felt very awkward sometimes). Of course, i know that the language barrier was one of the main reasons. Only after i had to opportunity to play in one of their parties, some of them started to look at me differently. Cause i am not an asshole pretending this or that, i don't fear the pressure. And i love opportunities. Then i just got a bit of respect from them, but that was not resolving the "living" thing.
I decided to meet some foreign DJ's in Japan in order to see how they do it. What i found was another friend's friend, an american english teacher who was playing in a small bar in Osaka. And he was honest enough to say: I don`t get any money from DJing, but i can get drinks, friends and pussy.
Seeing why it was so hard to be taken seriously, i decided to accept the reality. I talked a little bit more to that guy in another place, and then he made the main point: Even the japanese DJ's who make money doing this, don`t live in Japan: they are all living in USA or UK...
Asia is definitely not the best place for a professional DJ. Far from being a superstar, i realized that the digitalization of the art made it even worse: it lowered the standard, lowered the prices, created a lack of appreciation, since everybody can download a few thousands of mp3 and be ready to autosync the tunes with a minimum and portable equipment.
You could say: come on, man. You go to another country, without speaking the language, nobody knows you and you expect to be treated like a superstar. Well, my point is what i saw in my own country: unknown DJ's from France, UK and around going to Spain and getting gigs easily. And the english speaking ones don't even bother on learning some spanish, even after living in my country for many years! And they do quite well. And also, the locals treat them nicer and friendlier. For example, i met very few "real" foreign DJ's in Asia. Most of them became DJ's after arriving here. It means that nobody knows them in their hometowns. No profile, no background. It just looks fake to me and i can see it clearly (music selection, skills, actitude, etc). So i thought that i am not DJ Tiesto (and i don't want to be anyway), but as a real DJ with some years of experience here and there, i thought that i could make a difference easy to appreciate, not just like an ibecomeaDJtogetpussy guy.
Meanwhile, in China, seems that it's possible to make some money, but forget about music and skills: they only look for a white face (and sometimes black) to fill the poster. Maybe would be interesting to try it, but posts like this one below describes the situation very well, which i think it's quite insulting for any (famous or not) serious professional DJ. This part is pure gold:
It's not much better in Taiwan. There is a problem of variety. There are not musical scenes. Big and small clubs only offer canned party music, the one they think is the best: top40.
I did that job during my first 2 years here. After i started to look for other options.
But going back to the Japan topic: not long ago, i met a german guy. Very different background: around his mid 40's, university teacher... he said that Tokyo was a great place to live. Of course, when we talked about expenses, living, etc... he told me that he was making 4000 euros a month, and life was comfortable ENOUGH to him... OMG! You can live like a king EVERYWHERE with that money! Well, that's it. Definitely not my place. Seems that the same goes for Singapore, Hong Kong...
Taiwan is a comfortable place to live for a modest person (let's say it: normal people without extraordinary skills. And many losers can take advantage of this convenience and get a decent life too, of course). But there are not many opportunities to learn, to develop oneself. Right now i am doing jobs where i don't learn anything (mainly teaching, but not english. teaching languages is only the 10-20% of my occupation here) and others where i do a very specific thing, but it`s gonna be the same after some years. No improvement.
I am not here to give tips to anybody. But the key of my "success" in Taiwan without being a full time english teacher is the flexibility. I have some decent skills at many different fields: martial arts, languages, writing, music, radio, computers, etc. Not to mention personal attributes like an infinite patience, endurance and some guts.
Having finished with my japanese dream (at least now i can focus on other things), i was considering about my initial thai dream... but many things changed. And i still don`t see the way to make money there (i am 33 years old now, almost 34.. i can't see it like a backpacker's adventure anymore). Now i just see some countries as good to make money or good to spend your money. Seems that Taiwan has both. Pretty balanced. In average, this is the best place i found to live in these days of western world's bankruptcy, chinese capitalism... and japanese mirages.
part2
What this guy says is common sense. But some foreigners want to try it so hard that they think they can do anything just for surviving in Tokyo. I met some foreigners in Tokyo and Osaka struggling or having a shit life with long hours of work just because they want to experience Japan and it's cool.
I think we are too influenced by the japanese propaganda and j-pop culture in the west (manga, anime, movies, books, music, etc) and we don't realize how horrible can be to just survive in a big city like Tokyo. Many people in the west really think that the only worthy place to live in Asia is Japan. And well, of course we got China on the map, but people tend to see it in this simple way: Japan=good and expensive, China=bad and cheap. I would agree most of the time, but i believe that Japan has many bad things too (and nobody is gonna tell you till you go there and stay long enough to see it by yourself) and China (although i didn't go or stay long enough there) has its advantages. I am sure that you can find something you like in an enormous country like China: Beijing, Shanghai, Chengdu (Sichuan) and many other cities. I think there is a lot to explore in there.
Anyway, i was still not ready for even trying to find a job in Japan on my first trip. It was much later, during the mid 2012, that i made a serious effort about it: through a friend's friend, i found the way to stay in Osaka for 1 month without paying the rent. And i saved enough money to be able to move freely around the country, trying to make some serious connections. Of course, my goal was to find a job as a DJ (i am not a lawyer, doctor or chef, so that's it). And yeah, i found some gigs. First, my friend's friend (a rich guy playing to be a business man during his free time) helped me to play in a fancy bar in Osaka. I was so excited when i got booked that i didn't dare to ask about the payment. A few days later, i asked my common friend about it, and his face looked a little bit surprised, then he said: Come on, man! They will give you free drinks! It`s gonna be fun! What else you expect?
Then i saw it clearly: the foreign white boy visiting Japan wanted to play some tunes in the CD players and those guys were super nice to me, letting me do so for 30 minutes. I tried to let my friend know that this is a serious job and it should be paid, but after seeing that his face expression was turning a bit bitter, i just said thanks and i accepted the gig in order to be polite. That night i played the first tunes i had in my laptop and i tried to leave that place asap. I even tried to make connections with a korean DJ, who totally ignored me cause he was too busy making his debut and licking the party host ass. I was starting to hate Japan.
Then, the "good gigs" were with real DJ's, playing the real stuff. I remember that i met them through a friend from my country who went to play there some years ago. Then i remembered what he told me at that time: I was very disappointed about Japan. They paid my plane ticket and so on, but not the gig... and the club was empty. They just returned me the favour because i invited that japanese band (with 8 or 10 members) to Barcelona before. And of course, they got paid and i covered all the expenses.
Then it was exactly the same for me: they didn't pay me anything. But initially, i was not invited to play with them and it was more like a friend's party. No complaints. I enjoyed it. But i was not going anywhere in terms of building a career or making a minimum amount of money. Then i realized that Japan was not the place for me to live. I can't live in a place if i can't make money. So since then i decided that i would be glad to visit Japan at least once a year, but i would never try to find my place in there. That feeling was bigger in Tokyo, during a short visit and having a meeting with some of the local artists. Everything seemed too tough. Just a bunch of people being formally polite to an intrusive tourist and wishing that he will leave their country as soon as possible.
I also remember how hard was to get respect from the scene: initially, i was introduced to the local DJ's there. And they were JUST polite to me. Not many smiles or welcoming (not to mention that i was the only white guy in the party, it felt very awkward sometimes). Of course, i know that the language barrier was one of the main reasons. Only after i had to opportunity to play in one of their parties, some of them started to look at me differently. Cause i am not an asshole pretending this or that, i don't fear the pressure. And i love opportunities. Then i just got a bit of respect from them, but that was not resolving the "living" thing.
I decided to meet some foreign DJ's in Japan in order to see how they do it. What i found was another friend's friend, an american english teacher who was playing in a small bar in Osaka. And he was honest enough to say: I don`t get any money from DJing, but i can get drinks, friends and pussy.
Seeing why it was so hard to be taken seriously, i decided to accept the reality. I talked a little bit more to that guy in another place, and then he made the main point: Even the japanese DJ's who make money doing this, don`t live in Japan: they are all living in USA or UK...
Asia is definitely not the best place for a professional DJ. Far from being a superstar, i realized that the digitalization of the art made it even worse: it lowered the standard, lowered the prices, created a lack of appreciation, since everybody can download a few thousands of mp3 and be ready to autosync the tunes with a minimum and portable equipment.
You could say: come on, man. You go to another country, without speaking the language, nobody knows you and you expect to be treated like a superstar. Well, my point is what i saw in my own country: unknown DJ's from France, UK and around going to Spain and getting gigs easily. And the english speaking ones don't even bother on learning some spanish, even after living in my country for many years! And they do quite well. And also, the locals treat them nicer and friendlier. For example, i met very few "real" foreign DJ's in Asia. Most of them became DJ's after arriving here. It means that nobody knows them in their hometowns. No profile, no background. It just looks fake to me and i can see it clearly (music selection, skills, actitude, etc). So i thought that i am not DJ Tiesto (and i don't want to be anyway), but as a real DJ with some years of experience here and there, i thought that i could make a difference easy to appreciate, not just like an ibecomeaDJtogetpussy guy.
Meanwhile, in China, seems that it's possible to make some money, but forget about music and skills: they only look for a white face (and sometimes black) to fill the poster. Maybe would be interesting to try it, but posts like this one below describes the situation very well, which i think it's quite insulting for any (famous or not) serious professional DJ. This part is pure gold:
Most of the “lao wai” (foreign) DJs play the safe route, offering up a familiar set of mainstream hip hop, house, electro, trance, or generic club music. Every weekend, in every 1st and 2nd tier city in China, there’s at least one club boasting a “foreign DJ.” While Shanghai and Beijing will frequently have a famous international DJ like Paul Van Dyk, Tiesto, or Paul Oakenfold, most of these 2nd tier city gigs are “starring” an expat foreigner already living in China. Many of them came here to “teach English abroad” and found that playing CDs for an hour paid better than a week’s work babysitting in some kindergarten.
When I first arrived here and saw this circus — clubs begging to book a “foreign DJ” regardless of talent or experience, and refusing local (Chinese) talents, I was offended. Even foreign DJs with Asian ethnicities were rejected in favor of a black or white face (the same can be said for English teaching jobs here). But in the end, this is showbiz, and that’s what sells tickets. Foreigners are exotic here in a land so homogenized that most people don’t know the difference between the concepts of “nationality” and “ethnicity.”
Full post here: http://www.chinamusicradar.com/uncategorized/chinas-foreign-dj-circus/It's not much better in Taiwan. There is a problem of variety. There are not musical scenes. Big and small clubs only offer canned party music, the one they think is the best: top40.
I did that job during my first 2 years here. After i started to look for other options.
But going back to the Japan topic: not long ago, i met a german guy. Very different background: around his mid 40's, university teacher... he said that Tokyo was a great place to live. Of course, when we talked about expenses, living, etc... he told me that he was making 4000 euros a month, and life was comfortable ENOUGH to him... OMG! You can live like a king EVERYWHERE with that money! Well, that's it. Definitely not my place. Seems that the same goes for Singapore, Hong Kong...
Taiwan is a comfortable place to live for a modest person (let's say it: normal people without extraordinary skills. And many losers can take advantage of this convenience and get a decent life too, of course). But there are not many opportunities to learn, to develop oneself. Right now i am doing jobs where i don't learn anything (mainly teaching, but not english. teaching languages is only the 10-20% of my occupation here) and others where i do a very specific thing, but it`s gonna be the same after some years. No improvement.
I am not here to give tips to anybody. But the key of my "success" in Taiwan without being a full time english teacher is the flexibility. I have some decent skills at many different fields: martial arts, languages, writing, music, radio, computers, etc. Not to mention personal attributes like an infinite patience, endurance and some guts.
Having finished with my japanese dream (at least now i can focus on other things), i was considering about my initial thai dream... but many things changed. And i still don`t see the way to make money there (i am 33 years old now, almost 34.. i can't see it like a backpacker's adventure anymore). Now i just see some countries as good to make money or good to spend your money. Seems that Taiwan has both. Pretty balanced. In average, this is the best place i found to live in these days of western world's bankruptcy, chinese capitalism... and japanese mirages.
jueves, 7 de febrero de 2013
Català a Taiwan
No recordo l´ últim cop que vaig escriure algo en català. Tampoc tinc cap oportunitat de practicar en aquest lloc. Les meves llengües principals ara són l'anglès, xinès i castellà, en aquest ordre.
Taiwàn té moltes similituds amb Catalunya. No m'atreviria a dir semblances pol.lítiques, però l'esperit d'independència ès semblant.
No estic gaire interessat en aquests temes, però de vegades em sorprèn que molts taiwanesos sàpiguen coses de Catalunya (entenc que el futbol també ha ajudat bastant a conèixer-nos). Molts em diuen: si ets de Barcelona, tu no ets espanyol: ets català!
Penso que els catalans no saben gairebé res de Taiwàn ni de la seva realitat. Com que no vull fer d'aquest post un discurs geogràfic/pol.litic, convido a tothom a buscar informació pel seu compte a internet o a on prefereixi.
De vegades em pregunto d'on sóc. Porto molts anys a Àsia. Definitivament, un mai podrà acostumar-se a aquesta cultura totalment. Em fa gràcia com els taiwanesos es passen un parell d'anys (o un parell de mesos) a un altre país i molts ja es consideren americans, australians, canadencs... aquesta seria la gran diferència entre els catalans i ells: un català que se senti com tal, mai confondrà la seva identitat. És un orgull ser català tant a fora com a dins de Catalunya. Però el taiwanès primer no volia ser xinès... i ara que és taiwanès, de vegades vol ser una altra cosa... em resulta estrany, però em trobo amb molts d'aquests personatges arreu. No sé què volen aconseguir amb aquesta actitud.
De vegades faig broma i els hi dic que jo també sóc taiwanès. Aleshores riuen i diuen: estàs de broma, noi! Això és impossible!
La veritat, ja no sóc ni d'aquí, ni d'allà. Fa temps que vaig esdevenir una persona que viu, simplement. No importa el lloc, ni la nacionalitat: visc i deixo viure. Aquest és el meu esperit d'independència, llibertat i amistat.
Taiwàn té moltes similituds amb Catalunya. No m'atreviria a dir semblances pol.lítiques, però l'esperit d'independència ès semblant.
No estic gaire interessat en aquests temes, però de vegades em sorprèn que molts taiwanesos sàpiguen coses de Catalunya (entenc que el futbol també ha ajudat bastant a conèixer-nos). Molts em diuen: si ets de Barcelona, tu no ets espanyol: ets català!
Penso que els catalans no saben gairebé res de Taiwàn ni de la seva realitat. Com que no vull fer d'aquest post un discurs geogràfic/pol.litic, convido a tothom a buscar informació pel seu compte a internet o a on prefereixi.
De vegades em pregunto d'on sóc. Porto molts anys a Àsia. Definitivament, un mai podrà acostumar-se a aquesta cultura totalment. Em fa gràcia com els taiwanesos es passen un parell d'anys (o un parell de mesos) a un altre país i molts ja es consideren americans, australians, canadencs... aquesta seria la gran diferència entre els catalans i ells: un català que se senti com tal, mai confondrà la seva identitat. És un orgull ser català tant a fora com a dins de Catalunya. Però el taiwanès primer no volia ser xinès... i ara que és taiwanès, de vegades vol ser una altra cosa... em resulta estrany, però em trobo amb molts d'aquests personatges arreu. No sé què volen aconseguir amb aquesta actitud.
De vegades faig broma i els hi dic que jo també sóc taiwanès. Aleshores riuen i diuen: estàs de broma, noi! Això és impossible!
La veritat, ja no sóc ni d'aquí, ni d'allà. Fa temps que vaig esdevenir una persona que viu, simplement. No importa el lloc, ni la nacionalitat: visc i deixo viure. Aquest és el meu esperit d'independència, llibertat i amistat.
miércoles, 6 de febrero de 2013
Dating websites
I have to say that all those online dating websites are crap in most of the countries: in Spain, the girls signing up there are very low quality (mostly weirdos, crazy and fat ones). And when i was in Japan, i messaged around 20 women one night from my hotel room and no one answered (only the ones from China or Taiwan living there, 99.9% prostitutes). Eventually, i lived there for 1 month before and didn't meet anyone online (long time ago skype was working ok with japanese girls, but only the english speaking ones, since i don't speak japanese... and that would be the main reason for my failure). Then i am using some of those websites here in Taiwan and it seems to work great. There are pretty decent girls online. To be honest, here in Taipei is much better to use online dating sites than going to clubs.
Why that? I suppose that a Norwegian or any kind of tall blonde guy with blue eyes, or Cuban, argentino or even italian would give me a different impression about online dating in Spain. And nowadays, in the modern Japan, a black guy from Nigeria can do much better with the locals than most of the white guys out there (we seem to be an outdated trend there... démodé... haha.. fuckers..). Might be a little bit better for them in the online dating game. But not at all, cause there is a cultural thing involved as well.
In Spain, most of the young people (and middle aged singles) go out. The bar culture is strong. But in Taiwan, after going to the same club or bar for 3 months, you will realize that there is always the same people in there. The community of taiwanese girls looking forward to get laid with foreigners in the club is not as big as many people might think. It's a ghetto: the english teacher's community and their pool parties, foreigner parties, always attracting those girls we all know for years (and probably most of us fucked at least once).
In Taiwan, girls are definitely not attracted to black guys (only the fat ones, cause they are up to anything) and many of those signing up in dating websites are open for dating both taiwanese and white foreign guys (as long as the language barrier is not a problem for basic communication). Foreigners will always get more attention than the locals from many of the girls. At least more curiosity, more questions about job, why here, etc. Initially, more interest. Also, the shy nature of asian people make them see this kind of virtual communication as more natural, less aggressive (and they love photos!). In Europe, this is just weird, with a "scene" mainly dominated by teenagers and attention whores.
The most part of those online girls remain in the virtual world forever: chatting, wasting time, fulfilling egos, etc. But i met many nice girls. A few bizarre ones too, but common sense and experience should guide you better than anything else.
Some friends living in Thailand and similar places (almost 3rd world countries) told me that dating in Taiwan is not easy. Well, i woulnd`t count desperate girls and prostitutes as a date. Anyway, very few girls are looking for just "having a good time" (in the simple way guys see it). But yes, somebody also said "girls in Mainland China are more motivated". Totally understandable...
From my part, i just bought my first smartphone 2 months ago... you can stay connected to those sites through its applications 24/7. It definitely makes a big difference: now checking videos in Youtube, bidding in Ebay or buying things online, reading e-books and selecting or making a friend of the opposite sex for a coffee is all the same.
From my part, i just bought my first smartphone 2 months ago... you can stay connected to those sites through its applications 24/7. It definitely makes a big difference: now checking videos in Youtube, bidding in Ebay or buying things online, reading e-books and selecting or making a friend of the opposite sex for a coffee is all the same.
The club culture is definitely crap. I avoid all those superclubs full of foreigners or the specific foreign bars (the worst, i work at one of them). The Clubs for locals are a little more genuine (of course, knowing their language is a minimum requirement there). Allucandrink places with horrible alcohol & music. But possible to get laid... at your own risk. I would recommend to go to those places with a good bunch of friends. Jealous taiwanese guys never fight one on one. They just want to win. If they see there is a minumum possibility to lose, they won't fight (they would even consider a 5 vs 10 confrontation, they feel safer when they have 5 mates for every 'bad foreigner'). Nuff said.
Maybe i am getting old, and because i work in the nightlife for around 13 years, i see it differently. I don't want to get out of the bar where i work to go to another bar during my free time. That would be another ghetto... of my mind.
Let's not forget about reality: all those coworkers, classmates, students, teachers, bosses... police?? Well, the point is that i really like my coworker for a long time. I asked her out just once and she couldn't make it. Then i found out that she had a boyfriend at that time. Not sure if she has one right now (for sure she broke up with that previous one), but i don't want to let everything become an awkward situation at work (i have to work beside her 3 days a week, for 3h everyday). I wouldn't mind to ask her out again (of course, i think that i have a chance), but maybe i like her too much? I might be 101% sure, and a man is not even close to a 50% sure for these matters (women's nature confuse us, impossible to know what they exactly think). But it would be ok if we weren't coworkers. Some friends (guys and girls) told me that i might try harder. They say, for what i told them, that she just wants to see if i am really serious about her. Well, that's the point: dating websites provide me a good number of decent casual dates. Maybe it's my choice. I want to remain single. But in the other hand, i always say that i am open to a serious relationship. I am not sure if i just want to find excuses. Probably i got enough in the past. Or like one of my roommates said: "after you bang more than 20 or 30 women, you can`t be satisfied anymore, man. It's too late"
Head in the Clouds
Son las 7:19am, hora local. Aún no he conseguido pegar ojo. Llevo toda la noche dándole vueltas a la cabeza...
Hacía unos 6 meses que no fumaba. A los pocos días de dejarlo, empieza el mal humor, los dolores de cabeza, los pensamientos "extraños"... los fantasmas salen a flote. Las viejas heridas se abren. No soy fumador habitual, así que esa moderación siempre me provoca un mini-síndrome de abstinencia ya bastante fácil de identificar para mí.
Hace un rato, en la cama, he decidido dejar que todos esos pensamientos entremezclados salieran y se manifestaran libremente. Cosas feas: odio, rencor, venganza, muerte.
No tengo demasiados enemigos. Se pueden contar con los dedos de una mano. Algunos podrían pagar sus fechorías en un tribunal. Pero alguno merecería algo mucho más sabroso y sofisticado.
Estoy comparando agresiones físicas, peleas callejeras, daños personales y demás con las cosas del corazón. Todo en el mismo saco. Todas esas cosas me han causado heridas. Y en cierto modo, las heridas del corazón son más molestas que unas pocas cicatrices o dientes rotos. Y no tiene por qué ser una historia lenta y tortuosa: como la mayoría de peleas, la situación y el daño se produce en unos escasos segundos. Puede incluso ser una sola frase la que lo destruya todo de forma fulminante. Y pensar en esa frase constantemente puede matarte por dentro también.
Vivo en Taiwán desde hace 5 años, a unos 10,000km de mi ciudad natal. Los amigos van y vienen. Extranjeros que crean lazos de unión inusuales, o simplemente somos gente que nos hablamos unos a otros por lo poco o mucho que tenemos en común. Pero que al final sólo se trata de no estar solo, aislado. A pesar de tener algo como internet.
Cuando alguien en quien confiabas te hace daño aprovechándose de tu soledad, tu impotencia y tu situación precaria, duele mucho más. No estoy hablando de brutales palizas en un callejón contra una docena de gángsters chinos esta vez. Hablo de quien te jode porque le has dicho demasiado sobre tu vida. Que le has abierto la puerta de tu templo voluntariamente y te lo mancilla, te escupe en la cara y te echa de él.
Así, con el alma medio muerta, uno intenta seguir adelante. La reconstrucción es demasiado costosa. O directamente imposible. Hay que encontrar otra manera, otro lugar. Uno debe adaptarse a la nueva realidad.
No tengo pareja desde el año 2010. Eso no quita que esté follando como un mandril. Me he acostado con unas 80 mujeres desde que llegué a esta isla, en el verano de 2007. A más de la mitad las he conocido en estos últimos 3 años.
Todos los cambios pueden ser positivos. Como una marea, se lleva algunas cosas y trae otras nuevas. No me quejo. El trabajo va bien. He conseguido cosas. Pequeñas cosas que me hacen sentir más seguro cada día. Y los problemas superados te ayudan a no comerte la cabeza por las mismas adversidades (aunque jodidas), porque bien o te acostumbras a ellas o haces un pacto contigo mismo: ya no tiene sentido vivir de esa manera aunque aún no hayas conseguido dar con una solución. Difícil o no, se intenta disfrutar de cada minuto como si fuera el último. Con la mierda a cuestas.
Y así, mientras acabo de escribir esta entrada en el blog, me siento algo más relajado. Incluso ya algo sonmoliento. El bajón, como todo, se tiene que acabar. Es cuestión de práctica: disfrutar de tu momento de gloria y tener paciencia en las malas rachas. Todo termina y vuelve a empezar cíclicamente. Sólo mi manera de afrontar esas emociones puede variar con el paso del tiempo.
Y ahora que ya me siento bajar de la nube, pienso para mí mismo: "gracias por la lección, HIJA DE PUTA. Acabo de leer tu puto blog de mierda, hablando como si tuvieras derecho a ser feliz. Te crees que el universo es una película hecha a tu medida y que todo está preparado para que te luzcas. Después de que me jodieras a mí, tu nuevo noviecito te dejó tirada como la zorra que eres en medio de las calles de Hong Kong. Desde entonces sólo Dios sabe cuántos extranjeros (europeos, tus favoritos) se te han follado (supongo que sólo seleccionas tus relatos más románticos en tu blog, que en realidad son una mierda, porque todos esos puntos de vista absurdos están sólo en tu mente). Pero eso da igual, porque eres incapaz de disfrutar del sexo. Recuerdo perfectamente cuando follábamos: te creías que era una de tus putas clases de educación física. Te pueden estar dando duro durante 2 horas sin parar y no emites el más mínimo sonido. Porque no sabes disfrutar de la vida ni sabes cómo hacer disfrutar a los demás con tu presencia. El sexo contigo era una puta mierda, pero me enamoré de tí. Y me dejaste jodido una buena temporada. Hoy me ha dado por buscar fotos tuyas en internet y he llegado a la conclusión que por lo que escribes, sigues siendo una puta niñata gilipollas. Y la sigues cagando con los tíos. No sé si algún día te la devolveré o no. Pero de momento, sigue creyendo que te mereces algo mejor que excusas de tíos que te dejan porque no te aguantan. Te quieres convencer a tí misma que eres tú la que no quieres, la que ya no está interesada en eso. Pero lee la misma mierda que tú misma escribes: te follan como una puta y te mandan a paseo. Algo que yo no hice: yo te mandé a la mierda por ser una niñata que trata a todo el mundo como personajes secundarios de su novela rosa, como juguetes rotos. Todas tus intensas y maravillosas experiencias están decoradas con todos esos rabos que te comes aquí y allá. Y además alardeas de ello. No te debería extrañar que todo el mundo te mande a la mierda tarde o temprano. Eres una prepotente. Te pasaste. Te tienes que justificar, escribiendo cosas como 'estoy aprendiendo, hago muchas cosas, estudio idiomas, blablabla'. Pero mira, da igual. Sólo, por favor, no vuelvas a hacer a nadie nunca más lo que me hiciste a mí. Si me enterara que vas por ahí haciendo de las tuyas, lo mejor sería que alguien te eliminara. Por eso, hoy me ha dado por leer tus mierdas por internet, pero no quiero saber todos los detalles. Seguramente me cabrearía más todavía."
Hacía unos 6 meses que no fumaba. A los pocos días de dejarlo, empieza el mal humor, los dolores de cabeza, los pensamientos "extraños"... los fantasmas salen a flote. Las viejas heridas se abren. No soy fumador habitual, así que esa moderación siempre me provoca un mini-síndrome de abstinencia ya bastante fácil de identificar para mí.
Hace un rato, en la cama, he decidido dejar que todos esos pensamientos entremezclados salieran y se manifestaran libremente. Cosas feas: odio, rencor, venganza, muerte.
No tengo demasiados enemigos. Se pueden contar con los dedos de una mano. Algunos podrían pagar sus fechorías en un tribunal. Pero alguno merecería algo mucho más sabroso y sofisticado.
Estoy comparando agresiones físicas, peleas callejeras, daños personales y demás con las cosas del corazón. Todo en el mismo saco. Todas esas cosas me han causado heridas. Y en cierto modo, las heridas del corazón son más molestas que unas pocas cicatrices o dientes rotos. Y no tiene por qué ser una historia lenta y tortuosa: como la mayoría de peleas, la situación y el daño se produce en unos escasos segundos. Puede incluso ser una sola frase la que lo destruya todo de forma fulminante. Y pensar en esa frase constantemente puede matarte por dentro también.
Vivo en Taiwán desde hace 5 años, a unos 10,000km de mi ciudad natal. Los amigos van y vienen. Extranjeros que crean lazos de unión inusuales, o simplemente somos gente que nos hablamos unos a otros por lo poco o mucho que tenemos en común. Pero que al final sólo se trata de no estar solo, aislado. A pesar de tener algo como internet.
Cuando alguien en quien confiabas te hace daño aprovechándose de tu soledad, tu impotencia y tu situación precaria, duele mucho más. No estoy hablando de brutales palizas en un callejón contra una docena de gángsters chinos esta vez. Hablo de quien te jode porque le has dicho demasiado sobre tu vida. Que le has abierto la puerta de tu templo voluntariamente y te lo mancilla, te escupe en la cara y te echa de él.
Así, con el alma medio muerta, uno intenta seguir adelante. La reconstrucción es demasiado costosa. O directamente imposible. Hay que encontrar otra manera, otro lugar. Uno debe adaptarse a la nueva realidad.
No tengo pareja desde el año 2010. Eso no quita que esté follando como un mandril. Me he acostado con unas 80 mujeres desde que llegué a esta isla, en el verano de 2007. A más de la mitad las he conocido en estos últimos 3 años.
Todos los cambios pueden ser positivos. Como una marea, se lleva algunas cosas y trae otras nuevas. No me quejo. El trabajo va bien. He conseguido cosas. Pequeñas cosas que me hacen sentir más seguro cada día. Y los problemas superados te ayudan a no comerte la cabeza por las mismas adversidades (aunque jodidas), porque bien o te acostumbras a ellas o haces un pacto contigo mismo: ya no tiene sentido vivir de esa manera aunque aún no hayas conseguido dar con una solución. Difícil o no, se intenta disfrutar de cada minuto como si fuera el último. Con la mierda a cuestas.
Y así, mientras acabo de escribir esta entrada en el blog, me siento algo más relajado. Incluso ya algo sonmoliento. El bajón, como todo, se tiene que acabar. Es cuestión de práctica: disfrutar de tu momento de gloria y tener paciencia en las malas rachas. Todo termina y vuelve a empezar cíclicamente. Sólo mi manera de afrontar esas emociones puede variar con el paso del tiempo.
Y ahora que ya me siento bajar de la nube, pienso para mí mismo: "gracias por la lección, HIJA DE PUTA. Acabo de leer tu puto blog de mierda, hablando como si tuvieras derecho a ser feliz. Te crees que el universo es una película hecha a tu medida y que todo está preparado para que te luzcas. Después de que me jodieras a mí, tu nuevo noviecito te dejó tirada como la zorra que eres en medio de las calles de Hong Kong. Desde entonces sólo Dios sabe cuántos extranjeros (europeos, tus favoritos) se te han follado (supongo que sólo seleccionas tus relatos más románticos en tu blog, que en realidad son una mierda, porque todos esos puntos de vista absurdos están sólo en tu mente). Pero eso da igual, porque eres incapaz de disfrutar del sexo. Recuerdo perfectamente cuando follábamos: te creías que era una de tus putas clases de educación física. Te pueden estar dando duro durante 2 horas sin parar y no emites el más mínimo sonido. Porque no sabes disfrutar de la vida ni sabes cómo hacer disfrutar a los demás con tu presencia. El sexo contigo era una puta mierda, pero me enamoré de tí. Y me dejaste jodido una buena temporada. Hoy me ha dado por buscar fotos tuyas en internet y he llegado a la conclusión que por lo que escribes, sigues siendo una puta niñata gilipollas. Y la sigues cagando con los tíos. No sé si algún día te la devolveré o no. Pero de momento, sigue creyendo que te mereces algo mejor que excusas de tíos que te dejan porque no te aguantan. Te quieres convencer a tí misma que eres tú la que no quieres, la que ya no está interesada en eso. Pero lee la misma mierda que tú misma escribes: te follan como una puta y te mandan a paseo. Algo que yo no hice: yo te mandé a la mierda por ser una niñata que trata a todo el mundo como personajes secundarios de su novela rosa, como juguetes rotos. Todas tus intensas y maravillosas experiencias están decoradas con todos esos rabos que te comes aquí y allá. Y además alardeas de ello. No te debería extrañar que todo el mundo te mande a la mierda tarde o temprano. Eres una prepotente. Te pasaste. Te tienes que justificar, escribiendo cosas como 'estoy aprendiendo, hago muchas cosas, estudio idiomas, blablabla'. Pero mira, da igual. Sólo, por favor, no vuelvas a hacer a nadie nunca más lo que me hiciste a mí. Si me enterara que vas por ahí haciendo de las tuyas, lo mejor sería que alguien te eliminara. Por eso, hoy me ha dado por leer tus mierdas por internet, pero no quiero saber todos los detalles. Seguramente me cabrearía más todavía."
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